The Darkest Light =^.^=

 I am writing this because I have been one that enjoys darker humor, fashion, artwork, movies and music and yet I give as much as I can of things that are traditionally positive. This post is for all of those people that are beautifully dark and macabre and yet have light hearts, actions and voices. We are not evil we just have a different way of looking at the world. We are fascinated by a spiders web or a bats wing. Negative actions can be performed by the most positive appearing person. Just as positive actions can be performed by those that adhere to a more Gothic genre.

 I was still a child when I noticed beauty in things that horrified my parents. I really found things others seem to try to ignore pretty or lovely or poignant. I remember my birth mother asking me what colors I would like for my school clothes. Without hesitation I suggested purple and black. To which she responded *those are funeral colors!* so time went on and in passing  the subject of flowers came up an I was asked what my favorites were and I said lilies. The response to that was a shriek of utter shock from my mother who said *Those are for funerals! What is your obsession with death ??* Personally those thoughts had not even entered my mind at all. I just knew what I liked and when asked I gave a truthful answer.

 This went on throughout my formative years. My choices in music, dress, art, dance and movies were usually deemed macabre. Yet there is indeed beauty in such things. To look at a sugar skull and see anything but art or a homage to the dead ancestors of families in Mexico is odd to me. They are lovingly carved by people that believe in *The Day of the Dead* This is tradition and they do not seem afraid. Horror movies are just that to me..movies. I collect my movies and organize them and by far horror is my favorite genre. Yet in real life I would not harm anyone.

 I have experimented with painting my room black to black poster board and electrical tape when told I was not allowed to paint. Where there is a creative will and all that. :)  I created a dead barbie garden in my back yard in Austin Texas. I remember my landlord coming over and asking me if it was a bit early for Halloween and I said no..everyday is Halloween. I truly enjoyed creating those dolls. I used anything I could think of to design them. Nail polish, electrical tape, scissors, hypodermic needles, pins and so on. Combine that with at least five different kinds of Christmas lights or fairy lights as they call them in the UK and you have awesome! We used to go out there and talk and drink and smoke and laugh.

  There was a book I read once that struck a chord in me. By an author called Konstantinos http://www.paganpresence.com/Konstantinos.html In one book he relegates humans into four categories. This is a bit of oversimplification and yet it is true. If you think of people in four basic groups certain archetypes form. Light good, Light Evil, Evil Lights and Evil Darks. These are basic concepts that almost everyone can understand.

 Good-light is the soul-type that most people are really referring to when they mention or think of the concept of good. But one doesn't need to walk a spiritual path to be in this category.  Anyone who is moral, loves brightness and spreads joy honestly is good-light.Some of the worlds religion founders, such as Christ and Buddha, were of this soul-type. 


 Evil-light is the sinister companion to good-light and the trickiest of the four groups to identify.  Those of this soul-type seem at a glance to be moral individuals.  Evil-light people may gather around them all the trappings of asceticism and harmony, or just what the masses perceive as being bright and positive.  But behind the facade, the evil-light have given up trying to be better individuals.  Consider a corrupt televangelist. Evil-light televangelists would surround themselves with light themes and choir song, yet bilk their followers of millions, claiming that the gathered cash is going toward something other than a new Mercedes or Tudor mansion.


 Good-dark who succeed at the ultimate goal of spiritual mastery do not attract as much attention, being mostly silent about their accomplishments.Who are these good-dark? When the essence of the shadows and darkness empowers you, yet you don't feel evil, you are good-dark. Such dark tendencies may have manifested in you early in life, affecting more than just the way you dress, the books you read, and the music you listen to. Yet you do no harm.


 Evil-dark, the true opposite of good-light, is the category that most people simplistically label as evil.  Remember, the four categories can manifest in people in varying degrees.  In the realm of the occult, evil-dark individuals can be the often harmless devil worshipers who value material goods and fun over their souls and the welfare of others, or can be the more sadistic individuals who perform black magic and human sacrifice.  In the everyday world, common criminals often fit this category, although they can just as easily be evil-light

  So you can see that these are basic categories and yet apply to many beings. This I look at as a guideline. I have met people that appear to be dark or evil if you like and yet do quite a bit of good in the world. Their message may seem dark but if you really pay attention what they are doing is really helpful. That is me in many ways. Yet recently I have been craving color in my wardrobe, home, food and diversity in my music as well. But deep in my heart I am and always will be that perky glitter goth that danced freely at Elysium in Austin Texas. I used to dance all night long. Yet did not hurt anyone.


 So the next time you see a little dark morbid girl or boy do not assume that they are evil or intend you harm. Don't do this any more than you would ignore the man looking seemingly *normal* with bad intentions. There is no evil look, no typical criminal nor any acceptable assumptions. These people that you see wearing Marilyn Manson t-shirts are not evil or wasted. They are inspired by music or perhaps rebelling against what they see as cookie cutter people. They see the world differently but no less passionately than you do. 

 God I still remember being the typically dressed because I had no choice small town girl reading all the horror I could get my hands on. The librarians saved the best ones for me in a stack. In Balmorhea Texas if that little library still exists it most likely has mostly my name in the *checked-out* portion of the book. I am proud of that. I was the goth girl but didn't know it yet. Living in books and getting away from people on my bike to find solace in nature..that was me. I remember sneaking Ozzy Osbourne and AC/DC tapes from my parents. Then changing when I heard Enya and Enigma and adding this to my love of nature.

 Life is funny sometimes you know? I still love the macabre art and horror movies and piercings and black and purple. I appreciate the artistic hairstyles that I see teenagers wearing now. There are still and will always be goths in this world. Now I also love Buddhism, His Holiness The Dalai Lama, Being vegan, fighting compassionately for animal rights and hugging trees. Yet given a chance I will still go to a goth club once I am near one. :) I miss those hours creating amazing art on my face, lacing up my knee high platform boots with my mad scientist coat and a top hat with my Kitty eared umbrella :D


                                With Love and Compassion Alexi and Kitty